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CHAPTER 2

I DUNNO, MAN DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT

The actual suggestments, as revealed to the Ashman outside a campsite in Skeggy:

1. Thou shalt retire to the Speak Easy whenever thou can, to partake of a brewed beverage
2. Thou shalt chill it out
3. Thou shalt not pilfer from the Ashman
4. Thou shalt mock the Sunglasses Guy, except upon the Sabbath
5. The Sabbath shall be help upon February the 29^th
6. Participation is optional
7. Thou shalt be easy, easy like Sunday morning
8. Thou shalt not try, thou shalt only do, for the learned doth know that there is no try
9. Thou shalt venerate the Ashman when you pass him by a slight incline of the head
10. Thou shalt squidge the Bob
11. Thou shalt not hump the Bob without consent
12. Thou shalt ROCK
13. A pole and a dying seagull, thirteen
14. Thou shalt mosh some of the time
15. Thou shalt trust Baz-whatshisname on the sunscreen

Wisdom of the Ashman (and various apostles)

“Nah, Gaz man, don’t worry about it.”

“Bombdiggidy”

“Nah, Nick man, don’t worry about it.”

“F’ckin Nah-Dans”

“Nah, Lee man, don’t worry about it.”

“I’m gonna smack him.  Fuckin’ sunglasses.”

“You can’t, like, own snacks, man”

“I bet she’s cold”

“Meh”

“A belt!”

“Queef”

“For little girls”

“I’m right”

*speaks in tongues, makes noises*

“Wheeeeeeee!”

“Winner”

“Really big hands!”

“He knows the score”

“I am so great.  I am so great.  I am…”

“Oh my God”

“Ich bien”

“Yeah, “Dentist””

“Queef”