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EXOTIC ECLECTIA
THERE MUST BE FIVE
SUPPLEMENTARY SUGGESTMENTS
Ffungo's Discordia: Commandments
I Remember that traffic is people. Don't fuck with fellow travellers just because they look like machines in your rear-view mirror. Get your car up to Highway speeds when trying to merge - don't stop on the shoulder! Oh - and if somebody lets you into their lane, give them a wave of thanks.
II Every once in a while, give a bum a buck. It means jack to you, and it could mean a burger to him. Don't worry that he'll just use it to buy beer - if you were in such a sucky situation, wouldn't you need a beer every now and then?
The Ten Cthulhuvian Commandments
I Thou shalt shamble
II Except thou shamble, thou shalt not enter the sunken kingdom
III Shamble ye the good shamble lest thine angles beneath thee grow exceedingly slippery and ye falls upon thy ass
IV He that shambleth not may yet perchance to shuffle, and much the same result is likely to be obtained, provided thy shuffle while Saturn be in trine
V Thou shalt blither
VI He that gibbers must at least shamble or at least shuffle
VII Thou shalt wear naught but black T-Shirts, lest your t-shirt be of black hue, in which event thy shall wear Tieth-Dieth.
VIII Thou shalt not try and pronounce my name “Clooloo” amongst unbelievers and make me a laughing stock. This is an abomination unto me.
IX “The Caller of the Black” and the “Inhabitant of the Lake” shalt not be referred to as the “early work” of Lumley and Campbell
X Neither shalt thou makeunto thyself any Derlethian pastiche
THE 42 COMMANDMENTS OF THE ANCIENT SQUARES
I.
Thou shalt not kill, nor bid anyone kill.
II.
Thou shalt not commit adultery or rape.
III.
Thou shalt not avenge thyself nor burn with rage.
IV.
Thou shalt not cause terror.
V.
Thou shalt not assault anyone nor cause anyone pain.
VI.
Thou shalt not cause misery.
VII.
Thou shalt not do any harm to man or to animals.
VIII.
Thou shalt not cause the shedding of tears.
IX.
Thou shalt not wrong the people nor bear them any evil intent.
X.
Thou shalt not steal nor take that which does not belong to you.
XI.
Thou shalt not take more than thy fair share of food.
XII.
Thou shalt not damage the crops, the fields, or the trees.
XIII.
Thou shalt not deprive anyone of what is rightfully theirs.
XIV.
Thou shalt not bear false witness, nor support false allegations.
XV.
Thou shalt not lie, nor speak falsely to the hurt of another.
XVI.
Thou shalt not use fiery words nor stir up any strife.
XVII.
Thou shalt not speak or act deceitfully to the hurt of another.
XVIII.
Thou shalt not speak scornfully against others.
XIX.
Thou shalt not eavesdrop.
XX.
Thou shalt not ignore the truth or words of righteousness.
XXI.
Thou shalt not judge anyone hastily or harshly.
XXII.
Thou shalt not disrespect sacred places.
XXIII.
Thou shalt cause no wrong to be done to any workers or prisoners.
XXIV.
Thou shalt not be angry without good reason.
XXV.
Thou shalt not hinder the flow of running water.
XXVI.
Thou shalt not waste the running water.
XXVII.
Thou shalt not pollute the water or the land.
XXVIII.
Thou shalt not take God's name in vain.
XXIX.
Thou shalt not despise nor anger God.
XXX.
Thou shalt not steal from God.
XXXI.
Thou shalt not give excessive offerings nor less than what is due.
XXXII.
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour's goods.
XXXIII.
Thou shalt not steal from nor disrespect the dead.
XXXIV.
Thou shalt remember and observe the appointed holy days.
XXXV.
Thou shalt not hold back the offerings due God.
XXXVI.
Thou shalt not interfere with sacred rites.
XXXVII.
Thou shalt not slaughter with evil intent any sacred animals.
XXXVIII.
Thou shalt not act with guile or insolence.
XXXIX.
Thou shalt not be unduly proud nor act with arrogance.
XXXX.
Thou shalt not magnify your condition beyond what is appropriate.
XXXXI.
Thou shalt do no less than your daily obligations require.
XXXXII.
Thou shalt obey the law and commit no treason.
Divebum's 40 Commandments
· It ain't a competitive sport.
· It ain't a macho sport - save the macho bullshit for the bedroom.
· Be as concerned about your buddy's life as you want him/her to be about yours.
· Select your buddy based upon number 3, and make sure when you are selected that you remember number 3.
· You can never have too many good dive buddies.
· Don't open your mouth just to change feet. When you speak, have something of value to add to the conversation.
· No matter how long you have been diving, there will always be someone who has been diving longer.
· No matter how many dives you've done, there will always be someone who has done more.
· Always consult your built in bullshit detector before accepting free advice. Chances are if the advice sounds flaky, it is. If it's free, remember that you often get what you pay for.
· Consult number 9 before dispensing advice.
· Don't try to cover several square miles on each dive. The reef has more patience than you do, and will be around a lot longer.
· Be humble.
· Keep in mind that you are an alien in an alien environment; you need to adapt rather than expecting the environment to adapt.
· Take pictures, leave bubbles.
· There is no place for arrogance in this sport.
· You will learn something on each dive regardless of how many dives have gone before.
· Be as willing to learn as you are to teach - and vice versa.
· Share our sport with as many people as you can.
· If you are a "newbie", have patience. Everyone was where you are now at some time in their career.
· If you are experienced, have patience with those who are not. You were there once, too.
· Have fun.
· Slow down and enjoy the interaction with a different world.
· There is no substitute for experience.
· It ain't about ego.
· Even if you're pissed at another diver, when you wave, use all your fingers. He/she may be the one who has to come to your assistance one day.
· A step into the water is a step down the food chain.
· You can sometimes hide your stupidity, but don't count on it.
· The reason you dive is to get away from meaningless conversation.
· Always drink upstream of the herd.
· Don't shoot in the ocean what you can't shoot in the pool.
· "Good enough" depends on whether your position resembles that of William Tell - or his son.
· Always hang your dripping wet suit over someone else's locker.
· If someone else will do a dirty job, let them.
· A good dive is good, a bad dive ain't bad.
· It's easier to change a plan than to have no plan at all.
· Never loan what you can't do without.
· Never borrow what you can't pay for.
· Make sure that your dive doesn't exceed the least experienced diver's comfort zone.
· You dive to relieve stress, not cause it - to yourself or others.
· Don't trust a dive shop without a coffee pot.
22 NEW AGE SQUARE COMMANDMENTS
· You shall learn of Honesty and attempt to heal your fear of it, to use this in daily living.
· You shall learn to Love Unconditionally-beginning with yourself.
· You shall help all people in your worlds come to physical healing.
· You shall dwell on things of high and pure energy in others and self to change Earth.
· You will learn and practice Pure Service - unconditional and with love energy.
· You will release Judgment into the Void-You will see, identify and choose for yourself Only.
· You will Recognize One God -the God that corresponds to your vision.
· You will destroy no one in any way - through gossip - through killing their gifts - discouraging self love by injuring the physical body by foreign substance - incorrect foods - incorrect labor.
· You will use your mind in the way the Source prepared - by faithfulness of prayer - by study and spiritual growth.
· You will learn self discipline so that you respond to the Earth with wisdom.
· You will take full responsibility for your own life - blaming no other.
· You will seek to learn about your God - seeing the Connection clearly.
· You will be known for your Gentleness, your Loyalty, your Kindness, according to your beliefs.
· You will grow in Peace by change of attitude and understanding of others.
· You will learn to respond and act from the Highest Center of Inner God - the Love Response.
· You will learn to Love All Mankind by seeing the Highest in all people without exception.
· You will promote the healing of Mind, Body, and Spirit by teaching and living the belief in Man's Divinity.
· You will show faithfulness in your study of yourself and your persona (masks) in order to Free All Parts of Self.
· You will Live your life as ordained by your faithfulness to the Truth, as you understand the Truth.
· You will Speak in Love, Honesty and Wisdom.
· You will Think in Love, Honesty and Wisdom.
· You will live in Moderation (Balance) in All Areas of your life.